Home of Bliss

SETTING: A number of chairs are lined up against the walls of a non-descript room with no decoration. EDITH, a graying woman is knitting an extraordinarily long scarf, as she patiently waits with her purse by her side. MAN enters looking ecstatic and confused.

MAN
This is a completely new experience. I mean, Wow. What is this place?

EDITH
Hmmm? What did you say?

MAN
I’m sorry, I mean, where are we?

EDITH
Well, this is the waiting room, of course.

MAN
Of course. (He looks around.) And what exactly are you waiting for?

EDITH
My Husband. But not to worry, it’s nothing serious. Just one of his routine visits, I expect.

MAN
That’s good.

EDITH
And you?

MAN
Uh, (Scratching his head.) Well, I’m not…

EDITH
Don’t tell me. It’s better not to talk about it.

MAN
(Takes a seat by EDITH.)
I was at Charlene’s pad, and we were all partying and someone took me into the bathroom, and well, you know what happens at parties, and then I don’t remember how I got here.

EDITH
Maybe you’re going a bit senile, it happens to all of us, at some point.

MAN
I don’t think that’s it.

EDITH
Don’t you worry; I hear they’re fixing to cure Alzheimer’s, at least in the early stages.

(Big distraction, as a boisterous young man enters with a large backpack and starts situating his luggage in one of the chairs.)

THE TRAVELER
Hey. Hey, Can I set this here? Is that cool with you?

MAN
Suit yourself.

THE TRAVELER
Thanks Man. It feels good to take a load off. Been on the road since, Guatemala. And it’s been some pretty rough traveling. But this is a nice stop. Better than some of those rat holes I’ve been staying at. Jose Christo! You should see some of the places I’ve stayed. But that’s all part of the trip, right, can’t always live in a cocoon. At least, not me.

EDITH
I saw that movie; it was Spielberg. My husband and I just love Spielberg.

THE TRAVELER
So I was saying, there’s no point in traveling if you’re going to stick to the touristy path. You gotta go down the side streets every once in a while, you know what I mean?

MAN
I’ve never been to Guatemala.

THE TRAVELER
Me neither, really I just blew straight through it. I’ve got a buddy in Argentina who’s got a blueberry plantation, so I figured I’d hang out there for a couple of months. I’m going to set up a hammock. But I didn’t know it would be such rough riding.

(Enter THE SKIPPER wet, breathing heavy, and holding a life jacket.)

THE SKIPPER
Don’t mind me. I just got to catch my breath.

THE TRAVELER
Want me to move my bags?
(THE TRAVELER gets up, and THE SKIPPER takes his place.)

THE SKIPPER
I’m fine! I’m fine.

THE TRAVELER
So where was I?

MAN
At the blueberry ranch.

THE TRAVELER
No, actually I haven’t gotten there yet. I was en-route on a rickety old chicken bus, when this guy gets on from the middle of nowhere, you know these busses stop in every nowhere town. He pulls out a gun and right then, everyone goes silent. (Miming a gun to Edith’s head.) Totally, except this one woman across from me starts to scream and the bandit-guy is yelling at the driver, and you know, my Spanish is not that good, then he turns on the screaming woman, and points it directly at her, which just made it worse, so I tried to tell her you know. Like this. (He puts his finger to his lips.) And I think he thought I was plotting something...that’s when (THE TRAVELER has a Realization) he points the barrel at me…

MAN
And then what happened?

THE TRAVELER
That’s all I remember.

EDITH
It’s OK; Just give it a moment. It always comes back, at some point.

THE TRAVELER
(Grabbing his bags and leaving.)
I guess it’s my turn.

MAN
Alright. Well, see you later, then. Maybe.

THE TRAVELER
Yeah. Safe Travels. (He speaks slowly as he Exits.)

MAN
That was weird, how he just left like that, in the middle of his story?

EDITH
It was his turn.

MAN
Right. (Turning to THE SKIPPER who’s clutching her heart and looking around.) You OK?

EDITH
Who me? Have you seen my daughter?

MAN
What does she look like?

EDITH
She’s about this tall, brown curly hair, but it gets pretty blond in the summer, smartest 6 year old you’ve ever met, but I’m afraid she’s not a very strong swimmer.

MAN
I would’ve remembered her.

EDITH
I know, maybe you have amnesia.

MAN
Amnesia. You think I have amnesia.

THE SKIPPER
I know exactly how you feel. It’s like one moment you’re out cruising the river, just enjoying the sun, and the next thing you know, you’re here. Where are we?

EDITH
We’re in the waiting room.

THE SKIPPER
How’d I get here?

EDITH
I don’t know, you just sort of sailed in.

THE SKIPPER
(Grabbing MAN by the shirt and lifting him out of his seat.)
And where’s my daughter? Oh God, is she OK? Tell me she made it.

MAN
Well, when did you last see her?

The SKIPPER
I was just with her. In the boat, and then one of these 4o foot rentals, it was powering right at us, it must’ve been a group of drunk college kids, because they didn’t even see us, so before I knew what I was doing, turned hard to port, and that’s when Samantha went over, it happened so fast, she didn’t even make a sound. She could’ve hit her head. So I cut the engine and dove in, but I couldn’t find her, and I remember coming up for air, feeling like there’s a vice grip on my heart, and I’m running out of time. You know she’s my baby. She’s my little girl. And I couldn’t find her. (Sitting down,she buries her head in her hands and cries.)

EDITH
It’s OK. It’ll all work out just fine.

MAN
You have high cholesterol?

THE SKIPPER
Diabetes.

MAN
How’s your heart?

THE SKIPPER
Fine. My heart’s fine, it’s my girl I’m worried about.

MAN
You know why you’re heart doesn’t hurt anymore?

THE SKIPPER
What are you saying?

MAN
I’m saying you’re dead. You died out there. The shock must’ve tripped your insulin or something. Didn’t you hear that guy? He had a gun to his face. You don’t survive that. I mean look at this room; there are no pictures on the walls, no certificates. What waiting room do you know, that doesn’t have certificates on the walls?

THE SKIPPER
Ah. I see. I got to go, now.
(She Exits.)

MAN
Yeah. I thought so.
(Silence. MAN looks at EDITH.)

EDITH
What are you looking at me for?

MAN
Do you understand what just happened?

EDITH
It happens.

MAN
You ever think about what you are waiting for?

EDITH
No. Not me. It’s my husband, see the doctor’s say he’s not going to last much longer, but you can’t lose hope, you gotta keep fighting.

MAN
What’s he got?

EDITH
I don’t like to say.

MAN
When’s the last time you saw him?

EDITH
At the funeral, it was open casket, but that doesn’t count. I looked in, because it was the right thing to do, but that was not my husband. It was just a body. My husband has a light in his eyes, and so much to live for. So much.

MAN
And you? What do you have to live for?

EDITH
Nothing. (She realizes.) Nothing anymore. Not really. (She stands and tucks her purse under her arm.) No use waiting anymore, I suppose. Goodbye.

MAN
No wait. That means… Oh.

THE END.